


Recollection

by Salvasti



Series: A Persistent Memory [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU Modern., F/F, Implied Ami and Makoto, Language, Reinako, Sorry folks I can't write them but I do love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:17:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salvasti/pseuds/Salvasti
Summary: It's one thing to find out you're a reincarnated soul with the sole purpose to protect the Princess, it is another when the ghosts that were you manifest to share everything that went wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here we go, the sequel or continuation of Hindsight. Setting remains AU, but more the Anime/Manga/PGSM setting. A.k.a. it’s modern times now or something like that. This will only go so far, by the way; I’m not going to rewrite the entirety of Sailor Moon, just to a certain point that seems good. Anything beyond that will be ... well obviously, something else and you’ll see another story from me.
> 
> Standard disclaimer: I own nothing save the demented thoughts in my head. I’m merely borrowing with intention to perhaps one day return, but don’t count on it.

**-Minako**

_ 1:47 am, Saturday, London _

What a fucking night.

That was how I was going to best sum it all up.  It was safer that way, just thinking what a fucking night because honestly, that’s what it all was about.  With far more effort than should have been really necessary, I dumped my school satchel in the chair at my desk, feeling exhausted beyond comparison to anything I had felt before.  I was silently thankful it was the end of the week, so the constant stack of homework could wait until I felt like doing it. Even if it meant buckling down far too late Sunday evening to accomplish it, there was simply no way I was going to work on it now.  Hell, I didn’t even want to shower which was a rarity; the only thing I wanted right now was my bed.

My hands went to my uniform, drawing the top off to cast to the laundry basket for the most part.  It partially hungover but not by much, a reminder that I kept putting off the concept of clean clothes due to its overflowing nature.  It was a shame that, another thing that I’d have to do or when Monday rolled about again, I wasn’t going to have anything school related to wear.  How typical, if it wasn’t one thing it was another. Down to my skirt my hands continued, kicking it off haphazardly to join the growing mound of clothes.  Really, just why not. At least they were hitting the hamper instead of being all over the floor. I might be a slob; God knows my mother used to screech at me about it, but I tried to keep the floor mostly clean.

Besides, dirty clothes I found called to one another like something else did.  Wasn’t it birds? Didn’t they flock or something? But one too many times of finding my socks mismatched because their other halves were on the floor and were missed when I actually did laundry was reason enough to finally convince me to pick up after myself.  Mismatched socks were not all the rage too, no matter what fashion dictated. So I tried to use the hamper. Silly thoughts to keep me going towards my end goal, my bed.

I shook my head, trying to get a grasp on why my mind was running rampant in every direction with thoughts that didn’t mean anything.  Off came my socks, followed by my bra and panties before I just stretched. It felt so wonderful to just do that, to just stretch, completely nude to the soft light by my headboard.  I didn’t give a damn how it cast my shadow to the opposing wall; stretching felt great. My back thanked me at once with a series of soft pops as my spine seemed to realign themselves back to properness, instead of the absurdity I had required of it.  My muscles ached, releasing some of their tension but not all of it. Just enough though to coax me or perhaps coerce me that if I took a hot shower, they’d relax all the way.

A shower… oh it was so tempting that.  I knew a shower would completely relieve me, but so would a hot bath.  Something that I could soak in. It was so incredibly tempting right now but my bed had won out as it had a habit to do so.  On bare feet I made my way to it in that stumbling sort of half awake, more asleep than anything walk that only those in the grip of slumber could accomplish.  Back came the covers and in I went, hardly bothering me at all that I was nude. There was no one here to tell me otherwise; I wasn’t entirely modest in the first place, and on occasion when the temperature was positively roasting, there was nothing better than cool cotton sheets anyway.

The moment my head hit the pillow I was closing my eyes, feeling my ability to stay awake falling to the wayside.  I didn’t care, I didn’t want to stay awake. I wanted sleep, and with that I grasped the edge of the sheet to bring around my body as I turned.  With my final thoughts of being the newly appointed and proclaimed Champion of Justice, Sailor V, I was out for the count.

Something though drew me from my sleep, my dreams.  They were fleeting, like wisps of smoke as some annoying sensation told me it was in my best interest to wake.  Try as I might to grasp my dreams before they slipped away, all I could recall was something that looked like the night sky but wasn’t the night sky.  They were eyes that, eyes of some shade of purple. I hadn’t set an alarm; that was a foolish venture especially on the weekend. I trashed so very many of them with a wayward fist, smacking it into oblivion somehow, someway.  Some of them hit the wall, others the floor, still others were crammed under my pillows and pointedly ignored. Those lucky ones managed to survive until I later threw them across the room. So maybe, if I got right down to it … surviving wasn’t the right word.  They merely had a reprieve from their fate, a delay in execution.

So it wasn’t an alarm that woke me up.  It was way too dark out still, even though it was technically morning by sheer virtue of the hour.  It was … it was like there was someone in my room with me, a presence. Like that feeling when you knew someone was looking at you, sometimes close by and other times a ways away.  Maybe it was the cat? My mind seemed to think that was a good choice, the cat with the feminine name of the moon. But my mythology was also off too, especially when I was so very fucking tired.  Was it Greek? Or was it Roman? The last class of my day was history, and it just figured to be so before I met the cat.

Lightly the class had begun discussion of the religious beliefs and how the Romans were ultimately so successful in their territory expansion by assimilating other cultures’ systems into their own.  Zeus became Jupiter, Hermes became Mercury, Aries became Mars, and Aphrodite became Venus. There were more of course, but my mind ignored that, instead choosing wisely to focus on the fact that there was a presence in my bedroom.

There was a presence.  A  _ presence _ .  It was in  _ my  _ bedroom.  My body was finally jolting towards action, the bedsheet being clutched in my hand and pulled tightly around me as I sat up in bed, my back to the wall as I began looking around almost frantically before my gaze; freed from the haze of sleep, decided to focus on my visitor.   It wasn’t the cat.

That I could see right through it was unnerving.  The lights from the city shown through my curtains like they always did, a bit dimmer than daytime but the city never went to sleep anyway as it were.  It cast my room in a shadowy scene of blue, allowing me to see through the evanescent figure to where my desk was.

I swallowed, feeling like I should scream.  I would have, if it wasn’t for the fact that the figure; it was a woman, was a ghost.  Did I believe in ghosts? I wasn’t sure, no one had ever queried such an inquiry of me in the first place.  That one was in my room should be unnerving me but my mind was still yet processing the events of the night before.  Talking cats, transformations, something about some long lost Princess. It was maybe the only reason I didn’t scream.  Gasp yes. Go wide-eyed yes; it was still mostly dark in the room, but scream I was proud to say I didn’t do.

The ghostly woman was my height, maybe a bit taller.  It was only the history class of the day before that allowed me to pinpoint that she wore a Greek style breastplate.  A plumed helmet was tucked under one arm, a sword of some sort that didn’t go with the armor style at all was belted around her waist.  It wasn’t a katana, it wasn’t some European longsword, but it seemed to have a slight curve to it. I didn’t know swords though, so it could have been any of those save that I knew it wasn’t.  Pants were tucked into boots that came up mid calf, a cloak hung from her shoulders to just the tops of her boots. She had long hair; I couldn’t pick a color out because a ghostly form just had a bluish white outline to it.  A piece of cloth was tied to her hair at the top, like a bow, save that even from here, from my bed, looking at the specter, the cloth was never a bow in the first place and instead was used as it.

The woman looked at me, an almost expectant expression to her features but mostly stoic.  She moved, seeming to walk on the floor which was unnerving all within itself. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t open her mouth.  It didn’t seem possible but maybe she breathed. It was too much for my mind, finally finding my voice to utter out something that perhaps was utter nonsense but I didn’t care.  Not right now. Not to a fucking ghost.

“Who.. what.  Who the fuck are you!?  Why are you in my room!?  Where did you come from?!”

The ghostly woman soldier tilted her head to the side a bit before she seemed to be smirking as though something I had said was funny.  It seemed to be directly questioned allowed her to speak, and speak she did. The words were accented, it reminded me of aristocracy or a famous Hollywood star.  Someone that was confident, flirtatious, yet commanding. “I asked similar questions. Save about why was the being in my room.” She merely placed her helmet on the desk; no fucking way, a ghost wasn’t supposed to be able to do shit like that.  They weren’t supposed to be able to interact with the physical world, the real world, like that. They just were not supposed to, it went against laws or something. It was a violation. It  _ had  _ to be.  

The ghost did though.  The ghost had walked across my floor and didn’t glide or float or levitate.  The ghost had set her helmet on my desk as though the ghost’s helmet was something tangible.  The ghost had fucking spoke to me. The ghost did all that and tucked her hands around her sword belt to rock back on her heels.

“My name is Princess Minako of Venus,” The ghost continued on with, pressing forward on a rock of her heels to take a step closer to me.  “Embodiment of Love and Beauty, Essence of the Goddess,” She reached my bed, just like that. “Commander of the Royal Princess’ Honor Guard.”  Her knees pressed to the side of my bed, pressing against it as her hands found placement on either side of my huddled to the wall form, leaning over.  Crawling over me on hands and knees, until she was looking at me straight in the eye. “It’s time for you and I to have a talk,  _ Minako _ .”


	2. Chapter 2

**-Minako**

_ 2:38 am, Saturday, London _

I wasn’t really sure what was unnerving me more.  It was pretty sad that some rational part of my mind that hadn’t been shut down, drowned out, or thrown out by the rest, could keep track of things like this.  That it could make a list of things that were unnerving me right in this very moment.

There was a ghost in my room.

There was a ghost speaking to me.

There was a ghost interacting with me and the real world.

There was a ghost that had crawled up on the bed over her and was looking at me like.  Like something.

There was a ghost who had the same name as me, for the most part.

There had been a talking cat the day before.

There had been a talking cat who told me that I was the Champion of Justice

There had been a talking cat that got me to turn into something I really did not feel like I was yet somehow I did.

My mind could make the list go on and on, if it wanted.  Mercifully it kept it short but still the thrill was there, the excitement and possibility that at any given moment, it could explode.  It could explode like a kaleidoscope of colors and emotions, save that they would all be absolutely terrifying things if it went that far.

I swallowed hard, feeling my heart beat painfully against my ribs as though it decided vacating would be the best thing in the world than staying here.  Maybe escape was the better option, to survive on its own instead of being forced to remain. My fist that held the sheet protectively around me as though it was my own armor was turning white, and somehow I just had to know my eyes were as wide as saucers.

The ghost.  Yes the ghost.  There, so labeled my mind wouldn’t spiral off to insanity just yet.  The ghost was leaning forward, a translucent nose brushed against me own, tingling as it seemed to pass completely through my nose before she sat back, giggling as though I was just here for her amusement.  She pushed back off of the bed, returning to her feet while her giggle turned itself into a something of a sultry sort. “Come, let us stand outside. Buildings lost their appeal after I met her.”

The fuck was happening to me.  Just really, that was all I wanted to know.

The ghost looked back at me expectantly, going so far as to inquire, “Well?”

“I.  I’m. I’m not dressed to go outside…”

The ghost laughed this time, a short laugh but a laugh all the same before she shook her head.  “Such modesty. I forgot what it was like to have it.” But she did turn about, presenting me her back.  For being such a transplant, a ghost of ages long since passed and hardly modern she wasn’t outright inspecting everything in my room.  She did pause at a tack board full of ticket stubs and small pictures though, searching as though there was something in particular she was looking for but failed to find it.

In the meantime, it gave me a chance to slowly extract myself from the bed, daring after a moment to leave the sheet behind and instead quickly grab my rarely worn robe and burrow promptly into it.  I wasn’t ashamed of my body; that wasn’t it at all. It was just the idea that I had no idea who the ghost was, the ghost was doing  _ unghostly _ things after all, and maybe a whole host of other things I just didn’t want to go into.  As the ghost still poured over the tack board of pictures, I went to my dresser and pulled out the last pair of clean socks I had stashed aside for emergencies.  Fuck laundry, for sure I was going to have to do it now.

Pulled on over my feet I stood for a moment just to look at the specter.  She kind of looked like me in a way, an older me. More mature perhaps. Sharper cheekbones, a deeper gaze and fuller lips.  I felt a flush coming to my features which was enough for me to swallow hard, beginning to fidget. Should I get the specter’s attention?  What really was the protocol for dealing with a ghost anyway? Apparently if you spoke to them they could speak back to you but wasn’t that how horror movies started out?   _ Oh God no, please don’t go there _ I started to beg my mind before it could.  

The ghost decided for me though, turning about to face me anew.  A look took in the robe; it was red which got her to smirk before she nodded.  To the desk she reached, picking back up her helmet but it stayed tucked under her arm, awaiting the other.  “I do not know the layout of your home.”

“You.  You don’t know but you could appear in my room?!”  It was so incredible that I had to call attention to it.

The ghost merely shrugged as she apparently wasn’t seeing what the big deal was at all.

Relenting I tried to get a handle on things, stepping out of my bedroom and into the hallway.  I heard no sounds but could just feel the presence of the ghost following a few steps after me.  There was no way I was going to go out the front door, opting instead for the back. My flat was modest in size; actually it was generous given where I lived but that was not on my mind.  Passing the bathroom to the right, the hallway opened to the front and dining room, the kitchen; open, was sort of like the dividing line between the two.

The sliding glass door was locked with curtains drawn over it.  Moving them to the side I pushed the door open, stepping into slippers and feeling a bit foolish before the ghost seemed to step over the threshold onto the balcony with me.  The screen door I opted to close instead; I wasn’t in the mood to be locked out yet again. Last time at least I was mostly dressed; this time a robe was going to bring way too much attention to myself that it wasn’t even funny.  

The ghost took in a long breath, raising her head up as one would do to bask in the sunlight save of course it was night.  God was it ever night. I should be asleep still. Maybe I was. Maybe this was all just some dream and I could just turn over and go back to sleep and none of this would have happened at all-

“It’s so strange to see the Moon from such an angle.  Look, there.” The ghost’s hand rose, a single finger pointing.  “There’s Jupiter.” Her finger moved again, a smile crossing her face before it gave way to sadness.  “There’s Venus. I haven’t been there in so very long.”

“I thought you said you were from Venus?”  Something about the fact that ghost was sad unnerved me, but I couldn’t explain why if put to the test or asked to explain.

The ghost shook her head, taking one last look at the sky before her helmet was set down at her feet, rising up again.  “I don’t have much time, and I doubt the Mau explained a lot to you.”

“The Mau?”

“The Cat, Artemis?”

“Oh.  Oh yeah.  But… why is he named that…?”

“It’s a long story, one that right now wouldn’t be beneficial to you to know.  It’s safer to say that he received a lot of shit for his name, but you didn’t dare point it out in public.”  The ghost paused for a moment, looking about alarmed for a moment. “The Mau isn’t here, is he?”

“N-no he’s not.”  For that matter I hadn’t seen him since after the fight.  He said he would be in touch but…

It seemed to placate the specter, for she continued on.  “Good. He wouldn’t approve of this but.” The woman was shaking her head, looking back at me.  “But you have a right to know.” The expression on the ghost’s face seemed to go through a myriad of emotions, lingering especially on those of sadness, loss, and fierce resolve.  “This will all seem so strange to you, but it’s not a dream. You’ll have them enough as it is.”

The ghost took one last look around the city, before her gaze settled back on me again.  For a moment, she lost the bluish white glow that outlined her, looking like a faded washed out colorized version of herself instead.  She was still ethereal, but at least now there were colors to her. The hair became blonde, the cloth in her hair turned red. The cloak a soft white, the breastplate some hue of silver and steel mixed together.  The uniform was an off white, the boots and sword belt the same color as the cloak. The eyes though were what got me. They were the same shade as my own, they held a life all of their own, a great confidence, a great need, a love and a desire, all clouded by a huge loss and what looked like, for a fleeting moment … a betrayal.

“I am you essentially, millennia ago.  Part of you has been asleep for countless generations, never knowing what you were or perhaps it’s better said as what you are.  You’ve lived and died never having any idea until now. Only because what was sealed away has weakened to the point that everything is in danger, has the Mau awakened you to what you are.  Only because of what happened really, what we failed to do as we simply didn’t know until it was too late. Its incomplete though, but the memories will come back of who you are, of what you are, of what you did, what you stood for, who you defended and who you loved.”

The ghost didn’t allow me much time for it all to sink in, continuing on after a moment.  “Your comrades… your friends and your lover will awaken soon enough. Perhaps not right now, but you have always been the leader.  Even when you’ve felt doubt and uncertainty, you have always led ever onward. You will know them when you see them, even if sadly, they don’t know the same.  We all vowed at the end to try to be able to do this,” The ghost gestured at herself then the surroundings. “To the future that we would become but … but it takes so much out of us and can only be done on a full moon.”  The color seemed to fade from the ghost, turning her back to her standard ghostly issue bluish white. With a sigh she reached down, picking up her helmet again.

“Wait.. wait you’re going!?  What happened?! How can you be me?!  Are you my mother?!” Fuck it would seem like that was all I needed was for my estranged parents back in my life again.  God what a stupid thing to ask given she told me who she was but my mind was still addled by this.

“I’m not your mother Minako.  I’m you, as I said. I’m you, if you could just transcend timelines back so very long ago.”  The ghost stepped forward until she was once more right in my face. Her free hand rose, a cold yet somehow at the same time warm chill passed over my cheek as fingertips lightly brushed against my skin.   “It’s much to take in and I’m sorry. I will try to appear again as I can, but I’m tired. I will try to answer your questions once you can phrase them, even if all you can do is ask your heart of them. Your heart will always answer truly, no matter the doubt in your mind.”

“You… you said friends?  Lovers?”

The ghost laughed softly, shaking her head before pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.  It was warming, filling me with something that had nothing to do with the fact my older by a shit ton ghostly self was kissing well … me.  “Plural friends, singular lover. Your burden will not be your own to carry, you will draw strength from those around you and comfort from the presence of who your heart beats for.”

With that, she stepped back, seeming to turn before she faded away to nothingness.


	3. Chapter 3

**-Rei**

_ 5:23am, Saturday, Hikawa Shrine _

It didn’t matter that it was Saturday, a day that most would sleep in on.  At this hour, even the most devout of party goers would be home, asleep now for at least an hour if not two.  The rest of the world would be asleep for at least another two or three. I however, am not the party goer type, nor was I the typical rest of the world.  This is why I am up and awake.

The room, to an outsider, would be considered stifling.  To me it was perfection. At times if it was a particularly hot summer then yes it might become too much, but I also mediated early enough in the morning that the heat of the day was an occurrence I rarely worried about.

My body was still, my form perfection to the pose.  I wouldn’t settle for anything less as it were anyway, having done this every morning for years now.  It was second nature now, the way to sit, how to hold my hands, the way to breathe. It was something I could find progress with, a measurement.  It was perhaps why I practiced archery at the end of the day. Another thing that had steps to it, another way to acknowledge progress.

From the selection of an arrow, to the nocking of the bowstring, to the draw, the aim, the release.  It was all just a series of steps. I could move from one to the next to the next calmly, emotionless and silently, breaking from my stance only to lower the bow and stare dispassionately at the arrow that still quivered from where it struck another perfect bulls-eye.

But that was archery.  This was something else.

My eyes were closed, dwelling deep inside of me to the recesses of my mind as I sat before the fire.  Images of something had begun to slip through my dreams, planting themselves with both the vivid and the hazy with little reason much less rhyme that I could follow.  I couldn’t place them yet, having nothing really to compare it to given where I lived, where I was born and raised. A desert, for instance, was hard to picture unless you had been there.  The textbooks of my classes spoke of them, a few pictures certainly but no desert pictured had the red, barren environment as was in my dreams.

Perhaps something out of the United States, in the middle of that country but I doubted it.  Why would I dream of someplace so far away, separated by an ocean anyway? I had never been there and had no compunction to ever go.  The desert was easy to push off and ignore, just as I had been doing for months now. Those were easy images to blur past, it was the rest that didn’t allow for much sleep.

No, what drove me to rarely achieve any amount of sleep was both of destruction and simple hormones.  I didn’t want to think of the latter; I didn’t like what it implied in the least. Not that the former was any better, but it was safer.  I wasn’t on friendly terms with destruction but I was with loss, and since the two went hand in hand with one another, I found it easier to dwell on instead of a trailing hand along my body and a heated mouth pressing to my own.  Watching something burn didn’t bring out the same reaction as seeing a pair of blue eyes did.

There were fires raging out of control all around, filling the air with soot and ash as an offering.  The sky took on a hue of it, what was normally full of stars was now the same, just with the red haze over it, intercepted by billowing smoke.  That was the sky, my visions did not linger long there. Instead they were on the horizon, what was going on now. Something had toppled over, columns that reminded me of ancient Greek civilizations.  Save that they belonged to something that looked like it came from the Taj Mahal, a complete and utter clash of cultures but somehow, I knew it was true.

There were bodies, the next in my visions.  Bodies were everywhere. Two different uniforms but the images didn’t focus enough on them for me to recall them, just to know they were different.  Where there were bodies there was blood, so much of it that when it met with the fires it sizzled, filling the air with the putrid stench of it burning.  That was new. Being able to smell, being able to recall that there was a scent to it all. I could feel the sting of the smoke in my eyes, the scents clouding me, the screams… so many screams.  Human and inhuman filled the air around her, fighting over the crackling of flames to be heard and the falling of stone and marble against one another to plummet to the ground.

My eyes snapped open suddenly, sensing I was not alone.  A heightened awareness while meditating I knew right away I wasn’t by myself, yet I had not heard the door to the room slide open.  My gaze zipped through the room, going so far as to move to better look behind me before they were drawn back to the fire like a magnet.  

There was a figure there, in the flames.

The moment caught me unawares, uncertain as to just what I should do.  The figure so far was indistinguishable, impossible to determine if it was male or female.  I had prayed to the fire now for years; perhaps it was the Kami that resided? I felt rather blasphemous if that was the case, swallowing hard as I retook up my pose before the flames to await judgement.  Feeling rather unworthy my gaze closed again, head bowing as I hoped at the least, I did not offend.

But it was by me doing so, I later realized, that I missed the figure take on a shape, one more defined.  I had missed as it seemed to step from the fires, lingering in the scant space between her form and the flames themselves.  I missed it all; it was only after an uncomfortable amount of silence had passed with no indication that I had dared opened my eyes to peek, seeing the floor before me.

The floor, and a foot.  Save the foot was ethereal in nature, translucent against the wood.  It held a hue of white mixed with blue, solidifying or at least it gained color before my eyes.  The foot was a boot, brown. The more my eyes rose, almost reluctantly, the more became obvious. A robe, black with red trim and long sleeves that had been bound at the elbow, giving way to black wrapping-like bracers.  A belt held two swords; I knew they were not the daisho just by their look, but they looked maybe just over half a meter in length, if that. It was a woman, the hood of her robe cast back to show hair as dark as a raven’s wing, a few strands bound in a braid that hung along the right side of her face.

When my gaze reached the face I felt myself gasp.  It was like looking into a mirror, one that would age you.  It wasn’t some fun house mirror, like one from a carnival. This was far too real, far too much … myself.  Eyes the same shade, just harder met my own, her mouth was pressed to a thin line. The apparition appeared to be awaiting something, some gesture, as it looked at me expectantly.

“Who…”  I swallowed, finding my voice to try again with the calmness that I didn’t exactly feel.  “Who are you?”

“I am you.”  The ghost, or shade, whatever it truly was spoke.  It sounded far too much like me, older, more experienced, beset by a loss and while accepting of fate, she did not look exactly thrilled by the prospect of it.  “My name is Rei, I am a Priestess of Mars, and it's Princess.” The last sounded like it was grudgingly given, the woman released a soft sigh, continuing. “Second in command of the Princess’ guard.”  She finished with, before she smirked of all things. “The others might be helpful for you to know but I don’t know if she’s found her yet. There’s no point for you to pine for something like that yet.”

This couldn’t be happening, it shouldn’t be, but I could not deny that it was indeed happening.  The ghost was me? A vision of the future, or was it the past? The question posed itself across my features despite my self-control and discipline, noted by the ghost who spoke further, but only after it seemed to step to the other side, gesturing with a hand.

“May I?”

Having no idea what the ghost wanted all I could do was nod my acceptance, approval, whatever it was that was desired.  Pleased, the ghost sat a few feet from me in front of the flames, facing it and sitting much the same way I had been, before my concentration had been lost.

“Times were simpler when this was all there was to my life.  Sure it was harrowing; I had no idea what was going on other than I wanted to protect them.  Then she arrived.” The ghost fell silent for a moment, staring off before she shook her head, continuing.  “I was so naive and stubborn at the same time, and she knew it. Yet she was so lonely, despite always being surrounded and busy.  It tore at me, it made me want to give her what no one else ever had.”

The ghost turned, readjusting to face me with the fire to highlight both of our features, and still shine completely through the ghost regardless.  “Your visions are what came to pass. What we did, what happened, our fate and perhaps our destiny. We were left incomplete, to come so far and yet to fail at the end.  We didn’t know, it blindsided us, and perhaps that’s the reason why we are here now. There is something stirring, the reason why you are now reliving your life millennia ago.  Destiny or fate, or whatever you want to address it as, is not done with us yet. You will learn soon enough what is expected of you.” The ghost shook her head, a stubborn look and coloring to her words.  “I made her do so much just to give her what she needed more than anything. A way to forget the hassles she had endured long before she arrived before my eyes. I wonder at times if it did help her at all, did I do the right thing, did I do enough.”  The woman shrugged, looking almost defeated. “They are questions I cannot ask her now, but you can.”

“I.  I don’t understand what you mean.  Ask who? Who is she? What do you mean something is stirring?  What do you mean fate has plans for me?” I fought to keep my voice as calm as possible though the notes of hysteria I could not help despite my best intentions.

The ghost, myself apparently long ago in the past, chose to answer by rising to her feet.  The color faded from her, leaving her once more a complete product of the spirit world instead of just a visitor from it.  “You’ll know soon enough, sadly. The visions will only get worse before they get better, if that is even really the case.”  

Through some force I was not quite sure how to name, I rose to my feet as well.  It seemed wrong not to address myself, my past self, a ghostly visitor, with any less respect than they were deserving.  Even if it did feel strange. “Can you not offer me anything? Even some hope?”

“She said,  _ ‘Hope is the fire that burns in your breast, it takes wing like the phoenix when it rises from the ashes.  I thought you, of all people would know that, Priestess.’ _ ”  The ghost spoke, tilting her head at the end to look at me.  “There’s more than just the destruction you’ve been focusing on.”

I felt my features blush, knowing it had nothing to do with the heat.  I didn’t want to think of that, of the feel of a body against my own, of hands touching me just as my own did in return to this phantom.

The ghost merely shook her head, looking bemused at the notion.  “There’s hardly anything wrong with it, once you get over your nervousness you’ll find what it does.  You’ll love every moment of it, just as she will. I’ll return, as I can. You’re already seeking the answers; seek them further but do yourself a favor and look beyond the destruction.  All always is revealed in time.” With that the ghost seemed to turn, walking the scant steps to the fires itself before vanishing.


	4. Chapter 4

**-Minako**

_ 10:36 pm, Thursday, Tokyo _

There was a slight breeze tonight, blowing in from some direction that I didn’t care about.  It kept my hair out of my face, which was all that mattered. But so did the red ribbon I had taken to wearing nearly two or three years ago.  The dreams, or visions, or whatever you wanted to call them, had been infrequent. Infrequent but powerful, often leaving me gasping upon waking.

Of course, their subject matter might have been the reason why I gasped so.  Alternating between destruction and apparently that my former self got around;  _ a lot _ , with another woman brought more than just a blush to my face.  I didn’t want to focus on the destruction, of ruins and fire and blood and the dead.  I didn’t want to think of the killings, the agony and pain, much less the screaming. I didn’t want to remember that feeling of loss even though it didn’t hurt as bad as the feeling of betrayal did.

It wasn’t like the other was any better but it felt certainly a lot safer.  I felt … complete, even if it felt strange spying on myself in a fashion. I could easily recall hair that was the color of night, eyes that shone a hue that simply purple or violet would never define.  Thinking of anything more brought more than a flush to my features, feeling my body instantly warm in response. I felt alive, tingling,  _ wanting _ , and that was a problem.

I could also recall some sense of surrender, which I didn’t like.  Like I was willingly giving up control to this woman that my previous self seemed to know really, really well.  When you had a stubborn streak a kilometer long, when you were too used to being independent, it made no sense to me why I’d give up something like that.  Letting someone have control over you was stupid. While I obeyed laws and rules for the most part, I liked knowing it was of my own free will and choice, that it was my decision even if I was fooling myself a bit on it.  This seemed sort of like it was that, like it was my choice, then sort of like it was forced, and that’s where the confusion came from.

All I got was that my previous self seemed to like it.  A lot. A shudder passed through me in remembrance of one such time that the mystery woman had ordered and commanded me … my past self rather, about, defining everything …  _ everything  _ … that I was to do.  From how and what order to remove my garments to how I should sit or lay to when I should climax.  Further that I ask and seek permission to. And that I  _ did _ .  Fuck how I ever did.  And what was possibly the worst thing about it, or maybe the best thing about it, was how much I  _ liked  _ it.

That had been a rough morning, ignoring the cat’s confused looks to immediately barricade myself in the bathroom.  It took a long cold shower before I felt like I could move of my own free will without my knees giving out from under me.  Even still just remotely thinking about it had proven to be rough, often abruptly changing my plans to pace or go for a long jog.  And I hated jogging. So to willingly do that meant it was particularly bad.

I had kept the agreement my ghostly past self had asked of me, relating not a word of it to Artemis no matter his looks and obvious concern.  It felt odd in a way not telling him, but then again he wasn’t the most forthcoming about a lot of things either. But for just a bit over a year I had done mostly what he had asked of me, even though I wanted to question all of it repeatedly and did, a lot.  How could one give such vague directives and not expect questions anyway?

It was neither here nor there however.  Instead the wind and the red ribbon kept my hair from my face, a welcomed thing as I currently was perched high up on a roof top of some five or seven story building.  The premise was to be a lookout, but I knew there was more to it than that. On the lookout for what? The cat continually didn’t tell me, other than I’d know it when I saw it.  Well, I knew I wanted to be on the lookout for my bed. That sounded a lot more exciting and worthwhile than hanging out on the rooftops of Tokyo.

With little to go on other than to wait and watch, it was all I did.  We had been in Japan now for almost a year, and almost every night it was the same.  Be on the lookout. Artemis had joined me; rare that he went out with me for whatever he decided I needed to patrol, but tonight apparently I needed company.  He was down below, hidden in some of the ornamental shrubbery for his own vantage point. Right, so the cat didn’t have to jump and I did. It made perfect and completely utter nonsense to me.  Fuck the cat.

Shifting on my feet I glanced up, catching the full light of the moon shining down.  A few clouds covered the sky, drifting hazily across it as though they too were just as lazy.  It was late at night; I had school the next day and being late yet again was going to land me with further detention.  Funny how Artemis would rail my ass about being late and how I wasn’t living up to my potential yet he had no problem with yelling at me to get up, out of bed whenever there was some fucking danger running amok.

He was frankly impossible to please, but the only real link I had to whatever life expected me to do.  I thought about, at times, mentioning the ghost but something she had said always got me to stop. Not that I’d go off and break my word but it was still the idea.  He wouldn’t understand, he wouldn’t approve per my ghostly self. Well he hardly approved of me as it were, so why couldn’t I just make it worse for the sake of answers?

What had been destroyed?  Why were there things and people so intent on killing me?  What was so damn important about protecting the Princess, regardless of the fact that I had been sworn to?  What was so shocking about the Queen? Why did it come about? Who was this raven haired lover that set my world afire?  Why the fuck was I alone again?

God, it would have been so easy to just ask the questions, to get the answers.  The more the visions had haunted me the more that I wanted to know. Even the ones that were of death.  Certainly I wanted to know more about this woman that my past self was head over sandals for, but I wanted to know a lot more too.  The whys and the hows. The where and the whens. I released a breath, gaze narrowing behind the mask that did a remarkable job for making me untraceable.

“I wonder if she would have liked that one more.  It had more of the colors that she preferred on it.”

My eyes rose from the view below to beside me, taking in my ghostly self.  It wasn’t like I was used to it now; I really wasn’t used to anything, but it wasn’t quite so surprising to see her.  Generally on a full moon was when the ghost would show up, if she was meant to at all. Sometimes it was every month, sometimes as much as seven or eight had passed before the figure would reappear.

The ghost was still in the same attire as when she had first appeared.  Apparently my getup now was something she had worn before, but chose not to appear in.  There was probably a really good reason for it, one that I should ask about, but instead found myself asking about other things that were entirely different yet related.  “Your phantom, mysterious lover?”

A smile was her answer, and dare she say just a bit of a blush.  Her hands hooked into her sword belt, rocking back and forth on her heels for a moment as her color solidified from its blue-white transparent state of being.  It was still disturbing to look through her, but at least when she was well, more solidly here like this it wasn’t so bad. “She was mysterious yes. I never would have thought she’d have it in her.”

“So… that whole … commanding thing really happened?”  The memory struck me, cause me to bite hard on the inside of my mouth.  My fingers tightened against the roof edge, feet almost dancing for a moment before my legs pressed tightly together.  Fuck even mentioning it in passing was just as bad as remembering it full on.

My past self took pity on me, a sympathetic smile given.  “You remember that… of course you would. It was a … very special time.”  My ghostly self grinned, shaking her head, opting to change the subject if just to prevent a memory induced orgasm from happening right then and there.  “I see the Mau is progressing along with you.” 

“When he’s not jumping my ass for sleeping.”  I muttered, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough that the cat would catch me.  That was not the way to bring to his attention to the fact that I knew more than I was letting onto.  Sometimes ignorance was bliss, no matter how it hurt.

“They say sleeping in is giving in… but those that rarely received a full night’s sleep know better.  He slept perfectly fine; we were the ones often having to wake him up. Cats are cats, no matter their origin.  They love sunlight and they love naps, and if you happen to have left out something like a cloak or a shirt that they deemed was soft enough, you’d get it back with cat hair all over it.”

It sounded like the Artemis of now was still the same.  Sometimes my uniform was just cast off where the fuck ever I decided to strip at.  More often than not I’d return to him curled up asleep on it, especially if it was over a chair or the back of the couch.  I hated laundry as it was, so he really wasn’t helping matters at all. I made some sound of agreement, still not seeing the point of why I was out here tonight, looking for something that didn’t want to be found.

My ghostly past self looked like she was about to say something further when she frowned.  No, she scowled, muttering under her breath something that sounded so beautiful despite the fact she felt it was a curse.  She was probably cussing up a storm, but it sounded hard to believe when it was that pretty. Her eyes looked at me, sorrowful before she vanished without another word much less sound.

I realized why when Artemis jumped up to the railing by my hands a few moments later.  My past self sure didn’t like the cat she realized more and more. Something must have happened, but it would be harder than my math homework to figure out.  Speaking of homework, I let out a soft fuck in realization. I had homework to do tonight, and instead I was spending it out here like some dumbass. Not only detention but I’d be standing out in the hallway yet again.  Fuck I was so tired of that.

The cat realized my foul mood, wisely changing what he was going to say about lingering out here for another half hour to instead encourage me that I could go back home.  The intensity of my glare though he wasn’t expecting, taking a step back before I rolled my eyes, shaking my head to mutter about wastes of time. I turned away, looking and mapping out the best course to return home, given that I was half the city away from it.  Without a word I lept to another building top, knowing he’d follow whenever he was ready to.

And that was just fine with me.


	5. Chapter 5

**-Minako**

_8:54 pm, Wednesday, Tokyo_

Quickly.  It was the only thing Artemis had responded with, well that and hurry but I didn’t need to think of two different adjectives to just describe what my actions were to be.  It was probably the only thing that could outright describe my movements as well. My uniform had changed; no longer the red and blue I was used to but now something of yellows and oranges.  I had kept my mask though, a reason for that in my mind but I couldn’t explain it nor did I fully comprehend it. The shorter skirt didn’t hamper my actions as I almost flew in my strides. More than a few comments I had made to him about it, but he hadn’t been able to provide me an answer about why.  Just the sheer why.

No, it was safer just to consider him a pervert of some sort, and the one person I could have asked hadn’t shown themselves since the last time, a month ago.  I knew that easily since it was the last full moon, and sure enough tonight there was another one out. At least it wasn’t as late as before; Gods I got into so much shit for being late again and not having my homework done.  But for once Artemis hadn’t bitched about it; remarkable that really. While he didn’t apologize outright, I also knew my patrols were becoming less and less needed.

But I knew the reason for that.  So maybe it was excitement that filled my veins, maybe with some apprehension and doubt.  Concern, trepidation, anticipation. There were a lot of names I could use for it. I was looking forward to it and yet … and yet I wasn’t.  This was more than just comrades from millennia ago I would meet with; this was the actual Princess herself. These would be my friends to last for ages.  And if my ghostly past self was accurate, which she had been so far in a lot of things, my lover was among them.

How awkward was that?  Being friends with people you didn’t know but somehow you did?  Protecting someone you never met but had at one point in time you had.  Loving someone you had never seen really, just had dreams and fantasies about.  Just distant memories, a shrouded face and sensations that clung to me no matter how long ago it was.

* * *

“What’s this chain supposed to do… didn’t I have a sword or something?”  That had been my query of him when I first transformed outside of my Sailor V persona into something more, into Sailor Venus.  The start of the evening really. The clothing felt tighter in some ways, a bit more loose in others, as I took myself in with my mirror.  I liked the colors so that wasn’t an issue, but as I poured over each inch the almost delicate looking chain around my waist, the more I felt that it seemed out of place.

“A sword?”  He had asked in return, making me realize I had blurted out something I really hadn’t meant to, much less should have.  The strange look and blink of his eyes further drove home the point, and I found myself quickly scrambling to find words.

“Well … it’s just that.  A sword seems a lot more practical than this chain is…”  I wasn’t sure how I was going to cover up the blurted out truth.  My mind spun quickly, trying to recall from the ghost’s memories, my past persona, just when or at least why, I’d have a chain when I saw too much of myself carrying about a sword.  My fingers ran along it slowly, as though it would trigger a memory, but not too slowly else Artemis would begin to heavily question.

“There was the Holy Sword, there were times that you wielded that, but it was meant more for ceremonial occasions.  Though at the end…” He trailed off.

My past self hadn’t said a word about some other sword nor could I recall some other sword, just the falchion during my dreams.  I didn’t think it had a name; who named a sword anyway? But then again people named cars so maybe, just maybe, the falchion had a name.  But this other one, this “Holy Sword,” that sounded really important. I shook my head slightly, frowning at my reflection in the mirror, before I shrugged.  “Maybe that was it.” I doubted it, but it seemed to appease him.

“Minako…” The cat began with, falling silent before he pressed forward with his inquiry.  “Do you remember things?”

“I… Kind of.”  Well that wasn’t really it for elegance but my gaze was too caught up in me, narrowing on the Crescent Moon that marked my forehead, perfectly changing the subject.  “Why do I have this? Didn’t you say I was from Venus? I didn’t fall asleep in that class… I know that a crescent moon isn’t the planetary symbol for Venus.”

From the mirror I watched as he jumped up on my desk, taking his perch there.  He was back into his instructor mode, it was all how he sat and spoke that made me feel like I was still in school.  “The Princess isn’t ready yet. That’s why you were Sailor V first, so Luna could find her and the others. Because they’ve been found, that’s why your transformation has changed.  But she hasn’t fully awakened yet, so we need you to play the decoy until she has. You have more combat and leadership experience than any of the rest, no matter their backgrounds.”

_As if the Princess was ever ready.  She was far too concerned about the Prince than the rest of us or her duty.  It wasn’t until the end when she realized what had happened that she showed the glimmer of intelligence that every Lunarian claimed she had.  It didn’t help though, she still fell like the rest of us had before her; our blood the red carpet for her soul to ascend and the kingdom to finish falling._  I blinked, unsure and quite startled where the thought came from.  It wasn’t vocalized but it sounded like my own voice, it felt like my own voice.  My eyes darted to Artemis but he hadn’t made comment or motion on it, so it meant it was internal.

My past self… she had warned, or said or something, fuck whatever it was!  She said I’d get my answers, even if I didn’t know how to ask them. Or maybe it was if I knew how to ask them.  God this was too much to take in sometimes.

“Once the Princess has awoken, your heritage to Venus will return, including your planetary symbol and most of your memories.”

“Most?  Not all?”

“Well… no.  Not all of them.”

“And why not?  They are _my_ memories, are they not?  Why wouldn’t I get them all back?”  Sharply I looked at him, almost glaring as my hands went to my hips and the chain that skirted them so well.

“Minako…”  Trying to placate me only would piss me off more; he knew that.  Why then he insisted on doing it I never would figure out. It pissed me off though, the fact that he wanted to keep me from something that was _mine_ by sheer right of being _mine_.  He should try living with two sets of memories that were trying so very damn hard to coexist in my head while fighting things that made no sense, going to school, and listening to some feline dictate what I was supposed to remember.

My glare did not relent, pinning him in place before I abruptly looked away, to the closed window.  The curtains were still cast open despite it being night, revealing the full moon and starry sky beyond the panes of glass.  “They’re in danger…” I murmured softly, feeling the frantic emotions that spoke of being trapped, overwhelming odds, being afraid, needing help, the crippling panic.  I didn’t know how I felt it, just that I did. It was enough for the conversation to be placed on hold, not even sharing a glance. Instead it was to the window I went, opening it to slip from its confines.

* * *

Over rooftops I ran, bounding up to one with a few well placed jumps on smaller obstacles.  Artemis, I was aware of, kept pace with me. When he wanted to he knew how to get around. It could have been the sense of inherent danger though that drove him onward.  I couldn’t explain the sensation, just that I had one. A feeling that said someone was in danger and needed help immediately. Not just a generalized sort, but a tugging on my very soul, like I knew who it was and had to protect them no matter what.

I cleared another building, drawing to a halt at once to take in the scene laid out down below and before me.  From person to person my gaze darted behind the mask, unhampered. Unbidden words of a popular pop song came to mind, one about approaching people who wouldn’t look at you and thrones, as my eyes found themselves glued to a girl around my same age with almost as long black hair.

My breath caught.  Artemis wasn’t there to catch it, already moving below.  I ignored the others, I ignored the Princess, I ignored this very moment to just look.  To just stare. _It’s her… Goddess it’s really her,_ the voice of before filtered through my mind, feeling a sense of elation, of happiness, almost completion.  Tearing my gaze away proved to be the most difficult thing I had ever done, but I did so anyway, recalling the reason why I was here.  

With a well practiced throw I collected the sharpened crescent as it rebounded after slicing through the enemy below.  I ignored all the ghostly past self memories that knew the uniform; I didn’t care about that right now. Not right now, that could wait until later just like the conversation with Artemis could wait.  It sounded suspiciously like something my ghostly self would say as well, this whole notion of things waiting until later.

Instead I confidently strode forward, aware that Artemis was leading the way, aware of the eyes on me, their range of color.  More than aware of the range of emotions that they broadcasted unconsciously like some telecommunications tower. My mask gave nothing away, not my eyes, not where they went, not who they rested on.  Not even a smirk graced my lips, though I wanted to in a fashion.

It was time to meet them all.  It was time to meet her.

At long last.


	6. Chapter 6

**-Rei**

_ 10:13pm, Wednesday, Tokyo _

Thursday would be here before I knew it, yet I couldn’t sleep.  Thursday morning would soon be upon me, early to rise for both my meditation and my chores before school would claim most of my day.  Then the afternoon would be spent silently enduring the genius educating the brainless, while the giant plied our good graces with treats and sweets abound, all in the name of the completion of homework.

Ami was more than just a genius.  Makoto was more than just a giant cook.  And Usagi was more than just brainless of course.  But right now that’s where my mind ran with things, wanting to focus on that rather than.  Rather than.

Rather than her.

At once thoughts of a new blonde, yet a familiar blonde, took up residence inside of my mind.  She felt so damn familiar to me but I knew I didn’t know anyone like her. She wasn’t Usagi for that matter; the hair wasn’t the same nor were the eyes.  The eyes. A blue that reminded me of the sky on a cloudless day, a blue that I didn’t have a name for and so had to lamely describe it as just that.

From the depths of a mask that we all knew; closet Sailor V fangirls or not, when stories of her began populating the rumor mill you had no choice but to learn of her.  When Usagi became, or rather, continued to be infatuated with her, you had no choice. When even Makoto admitted her admiration despite her outward tough girl attitude in the face of danger, you didn’t have a choice.  When Ami put in the effort to try to learn more of her… well maybe then it was that you knew you really didn’t have a choice but to know of her.

None had asked and none I would tell anyway about how I had spent more than a month in meditation before the fire, attempting my hand at divination to learn more of her.  I normally would never use the fire for such frivolous things; I knew better and acted better than that after all, but there was a part of me that wanted to. That needed to.  A search for answers to everything.

In the back of my mind I felt approval from that sensation I could only account for as Mars.  It was my past self at first, a Priestess of a planet that was considered uninhabitable by the scientific minds of now.  When I found out I was Sailor Mars she seemed to merge in a way, enabling me to call forth fires like I never had before.  Enabling me to feel a sense of almost meditation even in the heat of battle; I recalled more than one occurrence where it was everything for hectic yet I felt calm, collected.

I felt like I liked it.  That battle was me, my calling.  It scared me at times.

The flames and her voice told me who Sailor V was.  I had went against the advice of my past self and avoided spending any time dwelling on the other half of the memories I had gained.  Despite her words of how “right” it was, I didn’t think so. I didn’t believe so, perhaps needing some outside influence to justify why I, of anyone, a miko at this shrine, would actually consider the sexual relationship my past self had had with this blonde.

“I thought long about the same thing, more so given how my feelings for her came to be.”

The voice snapped me from my reverie of thoughts, pushing myself up on my elbows from where I had been laying out in some attempt at sleeping.  There, illuminated and completely obliterated by the full moon, my past self came into focus, shedding the same amount of the hue to solidify to colors.  Her attire never changed, despite me suspecting she once wore the same transformation I did. Her hand gave a gesture for me not to rise as she settled down instead on the floor by me to sit, looking both amused and pained at the same time.

“You’re young, younger than I was.  This society you live in doesn’t seem to find the merit of it and instead, condemns the very ideal of it.  All of this I understand.”

“It … doesn’t feel right to think about that.”  I heard myself say, pushing to sit up as well, even though it felt rather informal given the nature of what this was.

My past self snorted, shaking her head before looking at me again.  “I could tell you that it’ll save you a lot of anguish if you just believe me but I know that’s not how it will work with you.  Instead, I will tell you that there’s no weakness in loving someone. It’s something she taught me.”

I frowned, finding it to be a lame and unfounded sort of evidence to back the claim.  “I’m my own person, regardless. So is she. Just because you, before, had a relationship with her … why does that mean it would continue on now?”

I hadn’t realized then and even now, I didn’t realize it, but by questioning myself in such a way it … hurt.  It felt like I had been stabbed, repeatedly, directly at the center of my being. It hurt, real enough for me to gasp, for my hand to close over my heart, to bend over and curl up as though it would make the pain of doubting myself go away.  I did not cry out, just like I didn’t realize I had moved, rather my past self had moved, fingers under my chin forced my head to rise, to look at myself.

“Because I swore an oath, on my life, my spilt blood, my waning soul that  _ I  _ would find  _ her  _ again.  That I wouldn’t let her feel alone ever again, I wouldn’t allow it!  She made me swear, her hands grasped me by the collar, lifting my body from the ground where I would die at.  She made me swear with tears running from her eyes, landing on my cheeks, intermingling with my own, that I would find her again.  That it was all worth it, everything she had gone through, everything she had done on my behalf. Every sacrifice, every injury, every bit of her she gave freely and without question that she was mine just like I was hers.  No matter how much time passed, no matter where and what happened as Death came for me, just like it came for Ami and Makoto, just like it came for her long after it claimed the rest of us … we would find each other again. Nothing would get in our way, not when an oath was sworn on our souls.  That,” a finger jabbed me hard in the forehead, “is how I know it will continue on Hino Rei.”

I swallowed painfully, looking at myself.  The conviction was thick, tangible, unquestioning and quite sure of its righteousness.  I felt like I had been reprimanded, like a child again. Granted, my mother was dead and my father certainly was not around, but my grandfather was my family.  I did not like to disappoint him and therefore did not. This was another one of those cases. I did not want to disappoint myself. 

“You are your own person yes.  You’ve always been, just as you’ve always been something more.  I’m not forcing you to change who you are, because you are just like I was.  Your attitudes, your disposition, your ideals and thoughts are all the same. I’ve been there before, I’ve thought the same things that you do.  I’m just as much your past as I am your future.”

There was no words for a while as perhaps, we both thought of what we said to each other. A reincarnated soul, separated by eons and a distance that wasn't so easily measured.  Maybe we didn't trust one another, or maybe we doubted ourselves. It's who we were, after all. She was as much myself as I was her, we had a similar sort of life as near as I could tell, but all the same.  All the same… being told to love someone just because I had in the past seemed far fetched.

“Does she look the same?” I heard myself ask.

“Her eyes do not lie, no matter the mask she dons.  I was never quite a fan of the colors yet she could and did make anything look beautiful.  There was a time she wore a gown, in golds and yellows.” My ghostly past self trailed off for a moment, a smile appearing that I would not have caught had I not been on the look for it.  “The night the Queen returned. It was also the night I… nevermind. She's the same and she's not. She is back in Commander mode once again and it was always hard to draw her from that role.”

“Is…”  I felt myself wanting to ask, was she really who she said she was.  I had nothing left to lose I realized; I had already managed to upset my past self over questioning the concept of not being my own person, of not falling in love with someone that she had before.  “Is she really the Princess…?”

For a moment, all that happened was just between our met eyes.  There were no words, no sounds save for my own breathing. I watched as my past self rose to her feet, looking down at me for a moment more and finally speaking.  “She’s always been my Princess. What she’s doing, she’s doing for a reason like she always has. Even when it doesn’t make sense at the time, it will in the end. No matter how infuriating it is.”  The ghost shook her head. “I think Artemis is controlling a lot of it, and she rarely liked when he did from before. There must be more to it, but it will likely be awkward for you to find out, and that’s assuming you can even be alone with her long enough.  I saw the way he whisked her off.”

It was true I realized as I thought back.  He had been rather abrupt with getting her to leave.  All of a sudden the look she gave us, that she gave  _ me  _ for that matter, all made sense.  She had wanted to linger, to talk, to express herself somehow or maybe to find closure, and instead it was cut short.  I found myself drifting to my thoughts, losing track of time, forgetting entirely that it was officially a brand new day, that I would naturally awaken in but a few hours for my routine.  When I came back to and looked up with a start, the ghost was gone. I felt my shoulders slump, feeling cheated.

Very well then, Moon Princess… we’ll see what game it is you’re controlling now if it means we’ll all get answers sooner instead of later.


	7. Chapter 7

**-Minako**

_ 10:32pm, Wednesday, Tokyo _

Artemis had left and to be completely honest, I was glad.  He had been so damn insistent that I leave shortly after the introduction, only so he could scamper away.  Some bullshit about meeting Luna; nah that sounded way too much like a feline booty call if there ever was one.

I was listless, too wound up to consider sleeping but I was also exhausted all the same.  A shame that because school was going to be here before I knew it. I still had a stack of homework to do that wasn’t going to happen.  Oh well, I had a reserved spot in the hallway, maybe I could perfect sleeping standing up.

I felt a tingle, like the hair on the back of my neck was standing up.  After a while I learned that it meant my former self was going to appear out of nowhere again.  I wasn’t surprised at this though, I mean hell she got to see her former or current or really, just how did you describe that?  She got to see  _ her.   _ I’d have to come up with a name for that.

And I got a look at them all.

“He’s not here, he ran off to see Luna.”  Offering that I let the transformation go, irritably changing out of my school clothes to a robe.  There really wasn’t a reason to be modest, shit she  _ was  _ me and after the memories I had… the idea of hiding seemed pretty moot.

“Those two together always were trouble.”  Ghost Me, as I called myself, her, whatever,  _ that’s why I settled on Ghost Me _ , plunked down to sit on my bed.  That helmet that she had the first time was back, giving her fingers something to do as she watched me brush my hair out.

“Why do we have to say things in order to do things?” So it was completely random but the thought struck me as I looked at Ghost Me.

“Pardon?”  That wasn’t a question she was expecting to be asked apparently.

“Like to change or attack.  We have to use these,” I couldn’t explain it, that reaching to a place that didn’t exist to retrieve a pen.  Oh it was the best pen ever, and fuck the hallway. I was going to use this to do my homework despite what Artemis said about it.  I tossed it to Ghost Me, watching as she caught it like a ghost  _ wasn’t supposed to be able to  _ before I went back to brushing my hair.  “And say things. I wanna know why. Did you have to?”

Ghost Me turned my henshin pen this way and that, shaking her head before leaning over to put it on my stack of homework.  “No. Tell me more what you mean though.”

“Well… I have this  _ Crescent Beam  _ that I have to say…”

“And that does what?”

“A beam of light, from my fingertip.”  I pointed it at her, watching as she warily eyed me back.  “But I have to say it or nothing happens.”

“To … change, you have to use … that?” Her head jerked slightly to indicate the pen; I nodded, “and then say things in order to attack?”

“Venus Power … Make up…” I supplied, putting the hairbrush down.

Ghost Me rolled her eyes.  “What about your chain?”

“That thing around my waist?”

“Yes, actually … could you  _ transform,  _ as you call it?  I want to see.” Ghost Me put her helmet on the floor, breaking countless more laws about what ghosts could and could not do in the process.  But hey, what was one more infraction to a list kilometers long?

It was hardly what I wanted to do but.. I reached for the pen, holding it in my hand before I suddenly raised it aloft, “Venus Power, Make up!”

I could not describe it, to be filled by light, surrounded by it as my clothes came to existence by way of ribbons of energy.  I couldn’t explain how I felt other than alive, renewed, stronger than I knew I was. Above all, I could not explain how I knew the things I knew.  At times a thief who stole things that were not mine, other times a thankful being who regained what was lost.

Ghost Me looked thoughtful, staring at me in the scant seconds that passed.  From my head to my sandal wearing feet she looked, pausing on the way back up at the chain around my waist.  

I almost took a step back as she stood suddenly, her fingers touching the chain, a thoughtful frown.  She pulled off a glove then;  _ another ticket,  _ tossing it aside by her helmet before holding out her hand.  I guessed she meant for me to hand it to her, unclipping it again in a way I didn’t know before I carefully placed it in her hand and committed some violations myself.

Turning it this way and that she spun it in her grasp once she stood back from me.  In Ghost Me’s hands it came to life, a whirl of gold and red. It was like a snake, sinuously moving before she stopped, gathering it to hand back.  She turned, sitting back on my bed with a thoughtful look.

“It’s not my chain.  It never had gems though she’d like them.  Mine was simple though expertly crafted. The Lunarian smiths used the Venusian alloy I had provided them with, mixed with their own steel.  It was delicate sure, but strong. I never said anything to  _ use  _ it, as you put it.  The first time I did, it came to life seemingly on its own.”

“Oh.”  Well, I guess that answered that but my original question still was unanswered.  

“Your question though,”  Good, Ghost Me wasn’t going to leave me hanging. “It’s magic, for lack of better.  You’re a natural but you’re not, so the words help you to focus.”

I gestured for her to continue, sitting on the bed by myself from eons ago.  I mean hell, it was a story after all.

Ghost Me handed me my homework.  “Do this.”

Well fuck.  I was going to cheat, almost daring Ghost Me to say something but she didn’t.  Out came my henshin pen and cheat I did. Who gave a fuck about triangles and the history of Japan and why you shouldn’t leave chicken out at room temperature to defrost for hours?  I didn’t, not right now. Maybe later, this weekend I would look more at it. I made myself a promise that I likely wouldn’t keep, all in the name for more pressing answers.

“Magic,” I began, or past me did.  Who cared, she spoke, “Was always there.  It used to be more … prevalent I guess you could say, long before I was born.  As technology grew, mostly due to the Mercurians, magic fell by the wayside. One could still study it, but only the truly gift could actually produce it, and rarer were those that could do beyond a simple cantrip.  Each planet though was different; Mercury it was unheard of while Saturn was still very sorcerous along with Pluto. There used to be a reliance to magic, enabling people to produce effects that eventually, technology could replicate.  Even the mightiest of wizards, few that they were, had to chant to help them focus the energies they were commanding.”

So that was why Ghost Me was unphased by my apartment.  This was second nature to her. It didn’t explain why she carried around such an archaic weapon or wore armor though.  I’d have to ask that, sometime.

“When our powers manifested, it was like near everything else.  It had always been there, been within us, we just needed a catalyst to waken it.  Here though,” Ghost Me gestured around. “People have either forgotten or … or maybe its something more.  I… I was there, at the end. Maybe … something more happened after… after I died.”

It was the first time I heard myself talk about death.  I knew she was dead,  _ hello I could see right through her,  _ but it hit me hard again.  Here was me, older, but with dreams and hopes and her love that she had seen a reincarnated version of after who knew how long and … and here I was, her and me and younger in a different place and time, carrying a burden that I never asked for and Ghost Me probably didn’t either and still, here we were.

Here I was.

I wanted to ask so many questions but I couldn’t do it.  It hurt, another realization. This phantom pain to me was real to her.  But it wasn’t just some remembrance of pain, like what I felt after a long volleyball game.  This was … this was an ache, an ache that had always been there and now with attention drawn to it, wouldn’t fade away.

“Goddess I miss her so much.”  Ghost Me whispered from behind her hands.  Seeing myself, this verified badass, break down was even worse.  I dared for a moment before I went to touch her shoulder in that comforting way.  Somehow I wasn’t surprised when my hand went through her. Tangibility wasn’t always there I guess.

I tried words instead, “Can … you go see her?  I mean, she reincarnated like you did into me, so can’t we just go there and say ‘ _ Hey Mars, I missed you and I wanna see you.’  _ and all?”

It took a few moments but Ghost Me finally looked up, a bit more collected but I could tell all too well that this was just an act.  There was a wisp of a smile; maybe my words helped but there was the stark truth of the matter that it was just some comforting lie in the face of cold truth.  “I… no, it doesn’t work like that. She … she wouldn’t be able to see me. Only you can and the damn Mau.”

That was unfair.

I didn’t realize I had vocalized it until she nodded a bit.  “I know. We have much to share, with you individually, with you all.  There’s much you need to know, that we found out too late about. Yet we’re restricted by laws I don’t understand but must follow.”

“How … isn’t there … there’s gotta be a way.”

Ghost Me stood, collecting her helmet and glove.  Her hand, a whisper of movement, brushed the hair away from my forehead.  She leaned down, a hint of lips against my skin. “The Moon. It is where we died, where we exist the greatest…”

I understood.

“Watch after her for me, until she awakens to know you.”

With that, Ghost Me vanished.


	8. Chapter 8

**-Rei**

_ 6:58pm, Monday, Tokyo _

We all stood around in what I suppose was a mix of shock, acceptance, surprise, and expectation.  Of course Usagi was the Moon Princess; I already knew but beyond that, the facts all made sense anyway.  The clumsy girl lived for fairy tales, and wasn’t this one indeed. It was fitting then that she was going to get all aspects of it.  Every single dripping part.

I felt sick, I wasn’t surprised.  Fairy tales were for foolish people unable to cope with reality.

Out of the corner of my eye I looked at the others.  Ami was too busy typing on her little computer, looking up every now and then as though she saw something.  Maybe she did with that visor across her face, but I could never be sure. Makoto was pacing, to and fro. Sometimes she stopped, but she seemed to be processing things in her own way.  Possibly trying to figure out how hard she’d punch the next time she got a firm glimpse at said enemy.

And Minako… 

I didn’t like looking at her.  I didn’t care what my other self had to say about it.  I didn’t want to be tied down by something that happened essentially forever ago.  I wanted to be my own person, make my own choices, or at the least hold to the illusion I actually could make decisions.  I did not ask for even a fraction of this added weight, this added baggage that came with being Sailor Mars. I wanted to be me, a miko of a shrine, maintaining my good grades, practicing my archery, making my grandfather proud, and not being bombarded by memories of some damn blonde haired woman.

I crossed my arms and refused to take part in it anymore.  Someone else could go see as Usagi hugged Minako half to death.  Someone else could comfort her that her precious boyfriend, also probably destined to be with her, had been kidnapped.

Someone else could deal with this.  I was done.

Or I wanted to believe that decision made and possibly could have, if the voice in my head not been berating me so.   _ When will you accept this?  No one asked for this, no one asked for any of this yet here we are.  You’re not the only one suffering with your so called baggage. _

_ I’m tired and done.  _ Came my testy retort back.  There was something about arguing with oneself that probably said I was insane, or at least losing my mind.

_ You are positively unbearable, even by my standards.  You should get laid, maybe it’ll knock the chip off your shoulder. _

I felt myself bristle, anger rising like the fires I was able to call at my beck and want.   _ Then you do this, since you think you know everything! That’s why you died after all! _

That…  I found out, was not the right thing to say or think.  It was my body but my other self didn’t seem to care. I was forced to walk forward, saving Minako from a slightly blue tinge to her features, so hard was Usagi clinging to her.  Part of me wondered if there was a reason but I also couldn’t do much else than be a prisoner in my own mind. Despite how I railed and ranted, the part of me that wasn’t me held to control with an iron hand.

There was a glimmer of puzzlement, like I was a conundrum to decipher.  I had ignored Minako like I wanted to, so I suppose I could understand why my actions made no sense to her.   _ Hurt, _ my other self chimed in,  _ you’ve hurt her you idiot, of course she doesn’t understand what the hell you’re doing now.  This I know, since you want to present a pointless attitude to me. _

“We need to find more information if we’re going to help him.”  Ami’s voice sounded different to me, like she was more confident in things.   _ Because she’s accepted who she was before.  Gods help me, was this what Minako went through before?  Some stubborn Martian refusing to see the world around her was on fire. _

_ I’m right here you know.   _ I was not enjoying this one sided conversation in the least.

_ Hush, girl.  You had your chance and now must face the consequences of your actions.   _ The voice allowed no room for argument, leaving me the option to sulk or go along with it.  My illusion of being able to make choices was slipping away, and I hated it. I hated her, I hated them all, and I hated myself.  If I had never been Mars I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this shit.

_ Mortals have always been made to dance for the Gods girl.  We didn’t ask for it either yet we made due. We are trying to ensure this never happens again, to teach and train you, to share what we know.  It’s hard to do so when we must constantly fight you in order to. _

_ Why don’t you just show yourself and go fuck off with her then.  You’re dead, you failed, you’re useless. _

I heard a laugh resonate in my skull, reverberating to my soul.  It was anything but kind. It reminded me of something malicious, something cruel.  It was evil, if evil so held a sound. Visions of something dark with claws reaching, dripping, of toothy maws split wide.  Somehow I managed to not gasp, not clutch at my heart, as pain wracked me. Deep, stabbing agony drove itself into me, sinking barbs to hook into my being as I felt myself react to the nature of what I had said.  I felt some weight crushing upon me, landing solidly across the back of my shoulders, as something more swiped across my spine.

Heat.  It was not the sort of heat I was used to from the Fire.  This was more, something that would obliterate me to nothing the longer I was exposed.

I was reliving how I died, countless years before.  All I could see was  _ her  _ face, the look of terror that was so out of place with her beauty.  All I could numbly feel clutching me was her hands, frantically trying to hold me, the feel of her tears as they fell against my skin.  Words, so many words, so many pleas that I stay.

Please stay.  Please stay and don’t leave her alone.

I looked up, shaking, meeting Minako’s eyes.  Scant seconds had passed, I belatedly realized.   _ She  _ was there and so was she, looking back at me while she held the Princess who looked sick.

_ She had failed _ , the voice said softly.   _ She had failed in what she promised to do, her vows made.  She’s lived with this guilt ever since she fell and later found the part of her soul that had been reborn here, millennia later.  There is nothing more I want to do than appear and tell her that it was not her fault, that it was nothing she did wrong. You do not need to tell me what I should do, for all that holds me back is the fact I cannot do so here, on Terra. _

Minako looked scared, frightened.  I realized then, like all epiphanies were, that she was just as confused as the rest of us.  She just kept it hidden behind a facade of cheerfulness, of oblivious commentary while trying to hold it together that in all of this, she felt the most guilt for what had happened.  Not for her, but for the rest of us.

I…

_ You’re not the only one.   _ Control over myself was given back, and while it was still an illusion of choice, it seemed to have a bit more tangibility.  I could choose how I acted, and it would either bring comfort to one who looked like she was falling apart, or I could steadfastly ignore her and let her spiral ever down.

“We need to know more about what took him.  Can you find anything on that?” Makoto had stopped pacing, instead looking over Ami’s shoulder as though she could decipher the symbols that kept changing on the computer screen.

“I know… I know where we can go.”  

Ami stopped typing.  Makoto looked up. Even my gaze went to the speaker, as Usagi’s visage and appearance changed from the gown that signified her awakening to her reality back to that of her school uniform.  “The Moon will have all the answers.” She spoke calmly, a far cry from who she was normally.

Makoto nodded.  Ami nodded. I felt myself do my version of the same.  It brought a moment of peace to Usagi’s features, and so my gaze strayed.  The other blonde looked off somewhere else; life was within but the spirit was long since vacant.

_ Something happened after we fell.  She’s scared to go back there again. _

There was that split in the path, the ability to choose.

My hand rose, giving her shoulder a slight shake.  Nothing too much, I didn’t want that voice to get the wrong idea and I didn’t like how I felt like shit either.  If I was going to be foolish and care about someone, I wanted to do it on my own terms. Her gaze snapped back quickly though, resting on my hand that I hadn’t removed quite as quickly as I was planning to, before flicking to my features.

“We’ll go together.”  How so very lame to say.  I wanted to scoff at my choice of words.

“Yeah.”  It lacked all things Minako.  It lacked inflection, it lacked poise, it lacked spirit.  It simply wasn’t her but she said it anyway, shrugging my hand away to turn.  “I’ll walk you home Usagi. There’s a full moon in a few days.”


	9. Chapter 9

**-Usagi**

_ 7:41pm, Thursday, Mare Tranquillitatis (Sea of Tranquility, the Moon) _

My name is Tsukino Usagi, I’m in middle school, I’m Sailor Moon and the Princess of the Moon.  Sounds a bit like a fairy tale, doesn’t it? When I was younger, really as far back as just a few months ago, I had wanted my fairy tale life.  It all changed when I came across a cat on one of my frequent trips to being late to school. Long story short, here I am, Sailor Moon. Really long story short, here I am, the Princess of the Moon.

For fun, I’m even on the Moon.  Those people that said it was only with hard work; well… how do you explain this then?  Other than it was hard work.

For months, we’ve been fighting off the evil brought about by Queen Beryl and her creations.  We saw the end of Jadeite. We saw the end of Nephrite. We saw the end of Zoisite. There is only Kunzite, and now my Prince, left.  Then of course Beryl herself, but if I kept things simple it would make it a lot easier to feel like we weren’t fighting a never ending battle.

After all, what came after them?  Surely it was going to be something, right?

It was only through my friends that I made it this far.  That  _ we  _ made it this far, but I knew that it wasn’t entirely by my friends’ choices that they were here.  Ever since I became Sailor Moon, despite Luna’s knowledge, I knew who I was. Princess Serenity, the daughter and heir to the Silver Millennium.  A name that Queen Serenity gave to her Silver Alliance, a rule that existed from far flung Pluto all the way to Mercury.

In her final act as Queen, long after they had died and so had I, we were sent to Earth to be reborn.  How many times I really didn’t want to know, but as near as I could tell this was my first awakening since what happened on the Moon.  

I didn’t know about my friends though.  It felt wrong of me to ask, since I  _ knew  _ everything.

There was Ami.  Did I know from the start that she was really the brilliant Mercurian with a perverse streak yet had an analytical mind and an ability to solve things that would take most others days and months in a matter of moments?  Not exactly, but once she became Sailor Mercury I knew as my memories began to unlock. She wasn’t the same as the Mercurian Princess; it seems that confidence she had portrayed before didn’t manage to be reborn in her here.  Instead she was a girl around my age, in my class; I admit I didn’t pay attention to realize that before; living in cram school into all hours of the night.

There was Rei.  The snappish attitude that I had lamented to my Prince about back then, effectively betraying my friends, was still here.  Tempered by the fact she was a Miko of a Shinto shrine ran by her grandfather, the warmongering disposition I complained about only came out when she was fighting, and really it was just for her cool, detached effectiveness.  Sometimes I wondered if she snapped at me so much because of what I said not only about her but the others. Especially Minako. A sort of righteous anger that maybe Rei felt was misplaced but needed to be released as she came to terms with who she was versus, well, who she was.

There was Makoto.  I made friends with her quickly when she transferred in to my school, and it seemed like she was a direct reincarnation from the Jovian Princess of before.  Both could cook though I never was so fortunate to sample her style back then. It was only through overhearing them talk about it, those times when I would sit and watch them spar with one another in Luna and Artemis’ company.  There they would talk among the clash of wooden swords and staves about whatever fantastic creation she had made. She wasn’t stupid; again my nativity shone through, she had a different set of circumstances to grow up in. Even here in Tokyo with her parents killed.

And finally, there was Minako.  The Venusian Princess herself, the leader of my guard.  The one that traveled almost as much as the system as the Queen did.  Awakening first to start as Sailor V, and coming in to rescue us as Sailor Venus about a year or two later, when things were not going remotely good at all.  The one that I had harmed the most by my stupidity, calling her a whore and worthless when she was the one with me at the end.

At the end.

Here we were, on the Moon where it all happened. 

They deserved their answers as much as I was obligated to make sure they had them, if for but no other reason than to correct the mistakes of the past.  

I was not my mother, and I refused to be the person I was then either.  Insipid, helpless, and using people. I wanted peace as much as I wanted answers.  I wanted my Prince back, and I wanted my friends to find something they could hold to that was important to them that, indirectly or not, I had taken from them.

“Ami?”  I tentatively asked as the effects of the teleport wore off and we stood in the remains of what once was.  They flanked me at my right and left; Ami and Rei on one side and Makoto and Minako on the other. There was friction there, among them all, and I knew the reason for it.  It was especially bad between Rei and Minako; the two refused to look at the other. Well no, Rei refused to look. Minako wore her heart on her fuku, and it was painful to see the girl so heartbroken when Rei wanted nothing to do with any of her and this.

“We made it to the Moon, Usagi.  We’re in the Sea of Tranquility, or… what remains of it anyway.”  Her clear voice answered me back, fingers flying over the small keypad of her computer while her visor displayed information I could never begin to hope to understand.  It was barren, the land strewn with the occasional rock but nothing that signified that once upon a time, a Palace stood here.

“Shouldn’t there be something here then?”  Makoto chimed up with next, looking around for a moment before back to me.  “There’s nothing here but rock.”

We stood for a moment, mostly just to soak in the knowledge we were the first ones here.  I get that the Americans had landed here but it wasn’t the same. We were here, where we existed before.

A breath was all it took.  Just a single inhale and exhale.

The scene changed.  Remains of pillars, looking as though they had freshly been knocked over, now littered the ground.  Under our feet were stone, cluttered by broken pots of marble. Ruins appeared as if by someone pulling back a curtain, showing destruction in so many different forms.  Red stains and black stains warred with one another about who would get to be displayed on any particular bit of gleaming, pristine white stone. There was no cloth but there were the remains of weapons.  Melted swords and shattered spears, the wayward shield splintered to pieces. I think I spotted a helmet, but it might have just been something else all the same. The air seemed colder, uninviting, and horrifying.  

I shivered, not from the breeze that suddenly sprung up, but from a long, keening wail I was sure the others heard but made no mind to acknowledge it.

A woman appeared, tall and carrying a spear.  She looked wild, fierce, and I took a step back only to jostle against Rei who irritably glowered at me.  As if we caught her in mid combat she stepped awkwardly, looking around in confusion for an opponent that was not there.

Another came into view, a few meters away.  Her hands were empty but it didn’t make her seem any less dangerous.

Finally a third, still meters beyond the other two.  The first one scared me but this one frightened me even more so and I didn’t know why.  She didn’t look at us, at first, looking around quickly at first, frantic in her search.

The beings, I didn’t know what to call them, but I knew who they were, looked at each other with their own sense of disbelief.  They were indiscript figures so the fact I assigned them a gender was probably my imagination, but as their forms wavered they solidified to view, giving off color that seemed out of place.

“I… what happened?  Last thin’ I saw was that fuckin’ dragon and Minako’s sword in it’s neck.”  The tall woman spoke, gesturing about like it would illustrate the story. It didn’t seem to bother them that we were here.  She was tall, a dark uniform worn that brought out the nature of her auburn hair.

“Improvised lightning rod.  Something happened after that….” The second woman spoke, as the time ticked by they developed additional features.  Blue hair and a soft white-gray uniform slashed through with rents and soot stains. She climbed up on an expanse of toppled stone, looking down at the other.  “We died Makoto.”

“I  _ know  _ that.  Why are we ‘ere though?”

The third woman; Rei’s previous incarnation, scowled as she looked at them.  I could see why the Princess thought she was a warmonger; the black uniform and armor painted the picture beautifully.  “Minako should be here then.”

“Right, she should.  The fact that she hasn’t appeared- oh.”  Ami stopped, jumping from the remains back to the ground.  They noticed us then, us who stood in silence of who we were.  The reactions varied, glinting disapproval and mistrust to a blatant pinning stare by Rei directed at herself.  It softened as the look went past is all to Minako who, for her own part, was not looking at any of them and instead the ground.

“You’re here.”  The Rei of before spoke.  “Where is Minako. She was with you when this all happened.”  These were not questions, not in the least. The seconds that passed without us answering angered her further, a step taken towards us.  “Where. Is. She.”

“Rei-”  Makoto’s hand came to her shoulder, an attempt to stop her maybe, or rein her back in.

It was met with a roll of her shoulder, dislodging, a snappish reply of “Fuck off” given as she advanced.  Older, she had height on us and I admit, she looked scary. A step back as Makoto of now became a barrier that she didn’t want to be.  “Is this what we receive for this bullshit? We  _ died  _ for you, and you can’t even answer us!”

“I… I think I know why…” Tentatively Ami’s voice broke the moment, eyes turning to her.  Her past self looked on in approval, perhaps giving her the courage to say something and not stammer to silence.  “This… this is the greatest concentration of your combined presences. That means that-”

“Minako is somewhere close by.”  Ami, the other one, said with a nod.  “Well done.” It caused Rei to scowl and walk off a few paces, ushering the already uncomfortable mood into further awkwardness.  A sigh and a shake of her head and the past Ami took over, ignoring how the other two wanted to antagonize each other. “Long standing disagreement.  You’re here Princess, along with who we became. I suspect we have been given these tangible forms because of the nature of your mother’s crystal. There is likely a radius to its power.”  She stopped, her voice rising at the end as Rei stopped, turning back to walk back to us again. “This is where we died, when everything happened. You both must be somewhere close but… perhaps you do not have a… a whatever we are exactly, to converse with.”

“Wha-what do you mean?”

“It means because you carry the Crystal, you are already complete.  Your soul wasn’t sundered like the rest of ours were.” I heard Minako’s soft voice somewhere behind me; she was staring off in the distance.  Makoto, my time Makoto, offered a comforting hand on her shoulder. She shuddered, collecting her breath and thoughts. “You came back whole Usagi.  We didn’t.”

“You mean … you’ve been … with?”  I was at a loss for words, gesturing about as though they appear.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because we didn’t want to believe it.”  Rei, the Rei I knew, answered.

“Or you were just too stubborn to believe us in the first place.”  The other shot back before shaking her head. “We had our own issues with all of this going on.  When we could make contact with who our souls were reborn into, it was with restrictions.”

“They could only appear with a full moon, Usagi.  We didn’t want to worry you about it, especially with everything going on.”  Makoto spoke up from where she stood by Minako, the latter of which seemed to be in control of herself again.  Or maybe not. They had performed some feat of deception for my benefit and I didn’t know why. If they had spoken to their past essences, then they knew what was going on.  They knew what happened.

I don’t know if I would have spared myself this knowing that, if the roles were reversed.

“Ain’t knowin’ how long we ‘ave before we vanish.  Probably should get this out in the open ‘fore we vanish again.”  The Jovian Princess; maybe it was best I refer to them as that, spoke up.  “Let’s go find Minako so Pyro’ll relax.”

It prompted a scowl; I had no idea the bad blood between them, given that they acted pretty ok in the now. 

“As you mentioned, this is Mare Tranquillitatis.  The Palace was just south of Mare Serenitatis. This was as far as we got, so perhaps Minako kept moving in that direction with you Princess.  Do you know where you stopped?”

“I… No.  I… I don’t remember.”  Eyes looked at me. The secret was out of the bag just as much as theirs were.  I knew, I remembered, and they now knew it. “She. She and the Princess walked for a long while but I don’t know where they… stopped.”

It was Minako who offered the answer, taking the lead without a word.  We followed behind her, our past selves on one side of me and my friends of now on the other.

“Mare Crisium.”  The Mercurian Princess offered.  Ami translated it for the rest of us as “Sea of Crises.”  I really didn’t like the sound of that. Who was I kidding though, I didn’t like the sound of any of this.

We were silent as we walked, the destruction continuing to litter the landscape.  I shuddered at the thought of bodies, of people having been here and now… well, where were they?  Did the Queen take their souls too and send them to Earth? Or were they forever lost? We didn’t exactly know what happened, all I had gained was that we were attacked.  We were attacked and fire was everywhere. Fire and Shadows and this sense of hopelessness. I stole glances at them all; the past selves looked set in their resolve. The Mercurian and Jovian Princesses held hands, the first time that they could do that likely since they died, especially since I didn’t think Ami and Makoto were like that.

The two Reis were like a night and day difference.  The past one kept pace with Minako, on the lookout, while the one I knew seemed to be at war with herself.  I didn’t know if they talked to one another, like if their words could appear in their heads. 

There was a lot I wish I knew.

We knew we were there when the Martian Princess ran forward, a blur of black that surrounding something bright.  We stopped, maybe out of respect, maybe out of something more. I looked to them all, to just capture this moment.  Rei looked one way, Minako looked the other. Ami and Makoto just stood with some almost smile shared between them. The two Princesses still with us stood together, an arm around the other as they smiled with actual meaning.

The Venusian Princess held a sword in her hand with a brilliant shine, marred only by the streak of red that clung to the blade.

I knew what it meant.

Minako knew what it meant.

She looked up from the Martian’s embrace, fixing her gaze on me.  Frozen in place there wasn’t anywhere I could go or do, really my only option was to just stand there.  I swallowed hard once she finally blinked, releasing me from the hold placed. Her free hand firmly gripped that of the other’s, coming around to face us.  The Jovian and Mercurian moved to join them, exchanging words and gestures that I couldn’t make out, before they all stood there, looking at who we were.

“You’ll die.”  The Venusian began, her voice clear and strong at where she fell.  “Twice more for her. Your essence will be stolen, and returned in her name.  Your dreams, ripped from you. Given back only by her graces.” There was a hint of some sardonic quality to her words, matching perfectly with the curl of her lips.  “It’s time that you learned why.”


	10. Chapter 10

**-Rei**

_ Friday, 4:38pm, D-Point, North Pole _

Part of me, to be completely honest with myself, loathed who I was. I held to a perfection, a facade that nothing could touch me and nothing could harm me.  It couldn’t be further from the truth, really. My mother died when I was young, my memories of her fleeting more and more despite my best intentions. It was only the pictures my grandfather had saved that I could relate much of her.  My memory was sharp, but the lack of a presence made it hard to recall more.

Then there was my father.  A worthless man who left, abandoning me, when it all happened.  It explained my disgust for men really, save that I loved my grandfather.

I had been hurt before, and I didn’t want to be again.  I did not want sympathy or pity, but neither did I want to be ignored.  I was a contradiction to be sure, scared of what I could lose that I did not try to gain more.  All the while, what I held meant the world to me but I felt I could not express it. For then, then everyone would know and try to take it from me.

It was thoughts like this that kept me awake for most nights, seeping through my attempts at meditation.  

My past said nothing to me, no longer appearing during full moons and no longer offering words at other times.  I could feel her yet it was not so easily distinct as it had been before. Perhaps it was a merging of souls, maybe I was accepting it for what it was, but I think her anger at me and my lashing out meant she had nothing worthwhile to say anymore.

After all, I had ignored her and gone against what she had said about Minako, so really… was I surprised?

We had stayed on the Moon for perhaps an hour, maybe less, before the magics that allowed us to be there waned and we were forced to return.  Our lesson was cut short, but I could still recall what was said.

I can still recall how they looked, how they acted.  The quiet sort of despair, an acceptance of fate as they had no way of changing what befell them.

I dare say, they almost looked content.  Or maybe it was because they were all together again.

The past selves of Makoto and myself did not like each other, primarily over the treatment that was given to Minako.  The Venusian, for her part, had told us to resolve it before she did for us, and for a while it seemed to be a barely there simmer.  Death had brought it back to light, and like squabbling children drew sighs from the Mercurian and headaches from the Venusian.

We listened as she recounted the day, leaving parts out that I already knew about.  It was no one’s business that the Martian and Venusian had left a pointless patrol for their last time together, and I had to be thankful of the discretion granted.  We heard of the letter from my past self’s mother that went untranslated in its entirety, in which she tried to warn us of impending doom to befall us.

The Queen.

The Sword.

The secret revealed and then, softly, the end.

She did not explain what happened to her, but the hidden look I threw Minako’s way told me everything anyway.  She looked sick, refusing to look at any of us, much less herself from before or Usagi. The guilt hung heavily enough that to invite anymore was to further damn what bits of her were not already.

In a short fashion our hidden conversations were laid to bare, the only decent thing about it was the lack of the cats to find out.  In the same though, we were our own people, our own personalities. We defined who we were and, maybe surprisingly and perhaps not so much, it was accepted.

The trivial things came to light.  The uniforms they wore and what we saw the Generals in held similarities, thanks to the Queen and Beryl working together.  What prompted the attack on the Moon so long ago was an unknown still, but subject to speculation. Perhaps one was becoming a God, perhaps another was there to stop it.

It explained the brief look on Usagi’s face; she knew.  Not right now, but soon I’d find out.

If I said it was just for myself then I would be selfish.  To share it though meant being close to people that could hurt me again, and I didn’t want that.

But then, what was this isolation bringing me?

What was going to happen to us, to me?  Was I always going to have a second presence residing in me?  Was it always going to be like this? I didn’t ask for any of this but it was still mine.

What of them?  Were they fated to spend eternity on a desolate rock, surrounded by betrayals that they paid with their lives to endure?  We were somehow them, a reincarnation that wasn’t complete in any regard, existing at the same time.

It wasn’t fair that they continually suffer.

At least, not any more than we had or were.

The cryptic prophecy was given to us; we’d die two more times.  Our essences stolen away and our dreams would be ripped from us.  It was hardly enlightening; would we become splintered further? Would there be another me, disjointed?  An extensional existence that all tied back to a Martian Priestess who died on the Earth’s moon from a swiping talon, all while trying to protect the person that she loved?

I didn’t dare to look at anyone, but my eyes rose all the same without much objection.  There was quiet acceptance, a terrifying thing, as Minako looked at the ground. Embolden, I looked at Ami and Makoto.  Both were puzzling it in their own ways but they also had that same look.

Perhaps time stood still when I met the gaze of my past.   _ If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. _

We left with nothing further said.

We stood, Ami and Makoto gone.  Maybe it was clockwork, maybe it was to be expected; we had been warned.  Two deaths. They were getting a headstart on it.

The wind was cold but I already felt numb.  I already knew what would happen; the Fire told me as much.  We were not meant to survive this battle, only Usagi would.

We were expendable.

We just had to live to get her there.

And then what, I railed.  And then what? We somehow get reborn?  I didn’t want to be a fractured person; I already felt like I was, and yet.  What next? I didn’t want to die, I felt like I wasn’t ready but the others… but the others had already.  Without fear they did what was needed, what should never have been asked for without really any sort of hesitation.

I felt sick.  Part of me wanted to have died first, just so I didn’t have to endure this.  There was two of us left, but was it fair of me to let Minako watch me die again?

I watched, mutely.  Our eyes met as she was suspended in that moment before she would die.  She knew, fighting back the fear that ripped through her body, binding her as well as the restraints that would take her below.  To the underworld, to her death.

To mine.

She barked at us to leave, for me to get her out of here.  The crying and screaming I heard and never registered as she was yanked under. 

How wrong was it for me to just watch her die as she had done for me?

I understood, at that moment, what it all meant.  The need for reliance and dependability. Situational travelers.  Eventual tolerance. Lovers. Dependence. Need, desire, understanding.  Love. Kindred souls. Circumstances brought hardships, but circumstances also was rewarding for those who endured.

I closed my eyes.

If there was a next time, and I was still who I knew I was right at this moment…

I’d try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part of this series is in the works, but I also have a new far too big, far too ambitious project I'm starting on. But as the final part is really only two chapters, it shouldn't be long.


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